Don’t let the title fool you. This won’t be a dissertation on the book of Job nor will it be discussing the hardships that Job faced. I chose to use this phrase from the book of Job simply because for us, like Job, life was going along just fine and then this phrase hits like a ton of bricks…there was a day.
For us, the first time ‘there was a day’ doesn’t have a particular date. I just remember Georgia, 12 weeks pregnant, telling me that she had some bleeding and felt it necessary to go to the hospital. (She had bleeding like this one time before and that was when we lost our sweet baby, Taylor, by miscarriage in 2013. She was 11-12 weeks along then, too.) Of course, there was the fear that she would lose another baby but we both knew that we needed to head down to St. Luke’s Boise ER in hopes that they would be able to do an ultrasound to see if the baby was okay and to see what was causing the bleeding. The ER doctor told us that she was probably miscarrying the baby and that there was nothing that we or he could do. He sent us home with instruction to go see Georgia’s OB the next day.

We discovered that Georgia was not having a miscarriage like the ER doctor had said. Instead we heard a new term: subchorionic hematoma. We were told that part of the placenta had separated from the wall of the uterus and had caused a bleed that was resulting in a sizable clot. Dr. King told us (in a very kind but honest way) that either the clot will remain and the baby will not survive or the baby will remain and the clot will go away. So we asked all of our friends on Facebook and in churches to pray. Georgia was told to take it easy and not lift or do much of anything. She essentially put herself on a modified bedrest. If there was something we could do to prevent losing another baby, we tried it. At the last appointment with Dr. King that Georgia had while she was pregnant, we were given a new goal; if we could make it to 24 weeks, they would admit her into the hospital and begin steroid injections with the intention of strengthening McKinley’s lungs and give her a fighting chance should she come early. Georgia was currently starting her 20th week, just one more month to go. We prayed. We can do this.

Then ‘there was a day’ again.

Tuesday, November 3rd at around 5:30pm. I had gotten home from subbing at Cole Valley Christian School just an hour before when Georgia told me that we needed to go to the hospital, now. We loaded up the kids and called the Steele’s to let them know we were headed to their house to drop off the kids. When we arrived at the hospital, we went up to Labor and Delivery and told them the situation: Georgia was 21 weeks, 1 day, she had a subchorionic hematoma with placental abruption, and she was having hard contractions about 2.5 to 4 minutes apart. They immediately brought us back and put her on all of the monitors that are par for the course with normal L&D. There was the tocometer to indicate whether or not the contractions were real and the external fetal heart rate monitor which gives us audible confirmation that McKinley did indeed still have a heart beat.

At this point, we were sure that everything would be fine. They would give Georgia medicine that would stop her labor and possibly admit her early in order to monitor both her and McKinley more closely. I was trying to figure out how we would juggle our lives around to accommodate this new living arrangement for Georgia.

That is when we met Dr. Fealko, one of the partners in Dr. King’s group.

Dr. Fealko had a portable ultrasound machine brought in and immediately noticed that there was no amniotic fluid around McKinley. Georgia’s water had broken. Georgia then estimated that it had broken earlier that day but, because of the nature of Georgia’s bleeding, she didn’t know that it was also her water breaking. Dr. Fealko told us what we needed to know in order to make decisions on what to do and how to proceed. We told her to do EVERYTHING that could be done to save our sweet baby’s life. She told us that saving the baby meant keeping the baby from coming for at least two more weeks.

She had them start two hefty antibiotics through IV and had us moved to a regular L&D room. Georgia laid in the hospital bed with her head down and feet up for hours. There was nothing we could do more other than pray. The sweet L&D nurse we had joined us as we all held hands and prayed. When it became clear to the medical professionals that surrounded us that all of our efforts weren’t going to stop the labor and Georgia would indeed have McKinley, they began preparing us for the path we were about to walk down. Through tears, we asked them if there was any way that they could save McKinley. Through tears, they told us that there would be nothing they could do. McKinley’s little body just wasn’t developed enough to be able to survive.

What do you say when you are told that your baby is about to be born and you will then have the choice to hold her while she dies or have them take her away to die somewhere else? The moment came when Dr. Fealko told us that McKinley was coming, now. I had to sit. I felt as though the room was spinning and the floor had fallen from beneath my feet. I prayed but I had no words to pray. I just repeated over and over, “I need you, Father. I need you.” I could hear Georgia quoting Philippians 4:13 and begging God for strength. All I could do was hold her as she suffered physically and emotionally.

At 1:34am, McKinley Anne Adams came into this world like a whisper. We have four children. We had been through labor and delivery four times before but this time was different. There was no fanfare. There wasn’t the sound of a new baby’s cry. She was a quiet, peaceful gift from God and we fell in love the second we laid eyes on her. We both knew that we wanted to spend every second of her short life with her in our arms. I held my wife while she held our precious baby in her arms for the first and last time. As she lay on her mother’s chest with her perfect little hand softly rubbing her mom, words of comfort and love were poured over her. Silently and, at times, out loud we prayed. Thanking God for such a perfect gift and begging Him for the strength to continue. I think the hardest part might be that there was nothing wrong with her. She was completely formed. She was beautiful.

We comforted our baby girl for 1 hour and 36 minutes before she quietly slipped into heaven at 3:10am. At somewhere around 3:45, we said goodbye and prayed and allowed the nurse to take McKinley’s body away. Then we just held each other and cried.

Skipping forward…

After going home, making all of the arrangements for the funeral, having family come in from Florida, Oregon, and China (trip), we were to have the unenviable task of burying our child. I was asked by several people why I chose to perform her funeral. My reply was, “Who else?” I will never have the privilege of performing my baby girl’s wedding so I had an unenviable honor of performing her funeral. I would like to share with you the remarks I made at the funeral:

     On November 3rd at 1:34 in the morning, our lives changed forever. McKinley Anne Adams was born. Her 21 weeks of existence had been wrought with difficulties. Ultrasounds, doctor visits, and much prayer. The 1 1/2 hours she lived outside of her mother’s womb were spent in the arms of her parents with words of love and comfort being poured over her. There are no words to express the sorrow of having lost such a perfect, beautiful baby girl. There are no expressions here on earth that can describe the future that we have lost with her. There are no definitions to describe that feeling when strangers take your child from your arms knowing that you will never hold or see them again here on earth. There is now a great gulf between us. One that we will probably not cross for a very long time. 

     We are separate.

     She is now absent.

     But we have a blessed hope that one day, we will be present again. One day we will be able to embrace McKinley once more. One day our family will all be together once again. We, as Christians, have a hope that the world does not have. We have the hope that is given to us through Christ Jesus.

     During these weeks when our world was turned upside down, especially this last week and a half. The Lord has been ever present with us. There were times when we felt as though darkness would engulf us completely. It was in those times, in the depth of our disparity, the Words of God shone through and different verses brought comfort to each of us. 

     During the labor, delivery, and eventual passing of our baby girl, God continually impressed upon my heart the words of Isaiah 26:3: 

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” 

Even though my world was reeling. Even though I didn’t know how I was going to be able to go through this much less comfort Georgia as her husband and strong shoulder. I knew that I needed to keep trusting in Him as He would be the one to guide me along the impossible path I was on.

     When we were going to the funeral home and here to the cemetery, God gave me Psalm 94:17 – 19:

“Unless the Lord had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence. When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”

     When we finally finished planning everything and Saturday, November 14, 2015 was in our crosshairs as the most difficult task we have ever had to do, God brought Jeremiah 29:11:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

There are so many thoughts that we are tempted to think toward our God during times like these. I know that my God is not some Greek god looking down from Olympus waiting to strike us with his lightening bolt. I know my God has thoughts of peace toward me. He has an expected end for me.

     The verse that the Lord has used to help GA in the midst of this difficult time is Philippians 4:13:

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

During the hours of labor and the moments thereafter, when she held our baby in her arms and she knew these were the last moments she would send with her. These are the verses that came to the forefront of her mind and the prayer that she repeated over and over. She needed God’s strength to do what no mother should ever have to do. She needed strength that exceeded anything on this human realm.

     After we arrived back home on the night of the 3rd, and there were no more nurses and no more doctors, and she lay in the quiet of her room while her mind was anything but silent, God brought the verse to her mind that He has used throughout this pregnancy to minister to her, Psalm 46:10a:

“Be still, and know that I am God…”

It is during those quiet moments when the questions and the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘why’s’ seem to crowd around her that she has had to still her mind and rest in the peace that He is God.

     We know that death is a result of the corruption of sin in this world. We do not know, however, why God chose not to intervene and save the life of our daughter. I was able to preach at our church just a few weeks ago. The Lord had given me a message on giving Him glory through adversity. Little did I know that He was beginning to prepare me for the difficult road that lay ahead. We will probably never know why God chose to allow us to walk this road. When we get to heaven, we may be so overjoyed to be together again that it may not even matter to us. What we do know and our prayer through this is that McKinley Anne’s life will have brought glory to God and that our testimony through this loss brings Him honor. The rest of Psalm 46:10 says, “I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Our prayer is that God would be exalted.

I know that this isn’t the end for us. I know that God has a plan for our lives. There is life after death and we choose to live it. One thing that has become evident to us is the desire to hug those who we hold dear. During this time filled with holiday traditions and family get-togethers, please remember that life isn’t forever. Hug those friends and family members that are still alive and tell them that you love them.

I will close this blog post just as I closed the funeral service, with the hope and prayer that God would be glorified and honored and exalted. Praise His Holy Name!

Chad